Two Roads Diverged
by ProfTweety
Summary: Two men started out on different paths in life. At some point, their path became one only to separate again as life took them in different directions. She saw one man, Jack, as her past and the other, Andy, as her present with potential for the future. Sharon thought of her own path, how she shared it sporadically with both men only to have found solid footing consistently w/ one.


_**Two Roads Diverged**_

**Disclaimer**: None of these characters are mine; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

**A/N**: This is a comparison of Jack and Andy over the years by Sharon, both in regards to their families and to her specifically, 'just thinking' as she calls it. It also includes bits of conversation between Sharon and Rusty and texts between Sharon and Andy. I'm always happy to hear comments of any kind. Hope you enjoy!

~~~~~PT~~~~~

_[I shall be telling this with a sigh/Somewhere ages and ages hence:/Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-/I took the one less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference.] Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken"_

Sharon was sitting on the couch hugging a pillow, when Rusty sat down next to her. Wanting to carefully approach the topic, he turned towards her, "I'm okay,' she offered before he asked and smiled.

"You think too much," he replied with a shrug.

Ruffling his hair, she said thoughtfully, "So says Andy too."

"You were thinking about him."

She nodded, "And Jack."

"Do you think they're too much alike?"

"They were," she answered softly, "but they haven't been for a long time."

Not sure how to word his next thought, he opted for blurting it out quickly and maybe just running off to his room before she reacted. "Just because Jack sucks doesn't mean you can't love Lt Flynn." He shot up off the couch but she reached out quickly and caught his hand.

"Stay, please, let me hear you out, Rusty." Sitting back down, he was now at a loss for words. "You were saying," she encouraged him.

"You don't have to be by yourself forever."

"I know," suddenly her nails fascinated her. 'I need a manicure' crossed her mind, changing it to 'I will need one after this,' as she looked at her son. "Thank you for not saying lonely," she sighed.

"Ricky's got that one covered," he smirked.

"Yes, he does, and don't _you_ go along with him."

"You're not lonely, Sharon, you've got Flynn," he said with more confidence than he felt as she looked away. "Jack wins if you don't love anyone else."

She felt her eyes mist over but looked at him anyway. "You are such a smart man, such a good man, and I am proud you are my son, _Beckin_."

"I'm starting to get it, _Mom_," he grinned. "Think about it, Sharon, that's all."

"I am."

* * *

><p>Jack was a charmer from the beginning. It's what she liked about him, was attracted to; it's what her parents feared. When she joined the LAPD, specifically IA, Andy was a hot-headed, ill-tempered officer always in trouble; she tried to help him anyway. Her rules, which he hated, always saved him in the end and he'd be cleared of any wrongdoing. <em>Rules, she liked rules<em>.

They were so happy on their wedding day. She thought it would always be that way; her parents feared it wouldn't and their daughter would pay the price for loving that man. Andy said he and his ex-wife felt the same way on their special day. _Memories, she thought they'd make many years of happy memories_.

As reality crashed in on them, like waves in a storm, they found comfort, a friend, in alcohol. Jack failed his attempts at staying sober and chose to leave his family repeatedly, thinking he would always be welcomed back. Andy was told to leave and not come back after several failed attempts at sobriety. _Alcohol, back then it always came back to alcohol_.

The ability to hold a job shows stability. Jack worked for a time in LA, than worked here and there in LV, considering both places home. His family was in LA and he often saw no reason to remember them unless he needed his wife to get him out of a jam or found some good reason for acting like a father. Andy, through it all, maintained his job with the Department, always remembering the family he lost and might never regain despite now years of sobriety. _Sobriety, seen as an easy goal yet so hard to maintain is that abstract thing called sobriety_.

Children, God's little miracles as some consider them, were a blessing and a curse to Jack. Sharon wanted them and to be fair he mostly did too but soon discovered he wasn't cut out for fatherhood. Nor was he cut out to be a _responsible_ husband. He blamed Sharon for everything and thought he'd won in the end. The kids were grown. Neither had many memories of him during their childhood but they turned out well and still treated him nice enough as their father. Despite sometimes years of preferring not to speak to him, they always changed their minds, either on their own or to make their mother happy. Andy's children were grown now too. They hadn't had much contact thanks to his ex-wife but he was the one who drank so he couldn't really blame her. The best he could do was create a relationship with them, make amends and keep moving forward in a positive manner. _Fault, to be accepted as one's own or passed on to the innocent, the never ending debate is of who holds the responsibility of fault_.

The meaning of family was brought up by Ricky when he asked it of Rusty. Jack thought family was what he had until Sharon messed it all up, destroyed it, by divorcing him. He thought his wife was supposed to help him with anything no matter what. He thought his kids were meant to do the same. He used Sharon to get to the kids and vice versa. That made sense to him, always had. Andy thought family was what he lost, his wife and his kids, his home, his happiness as a husband and a father; mostly as a father. He was still trying to be a good parent, even more so now. _Family, as complicated as people are, they're still our basis for family_.

* * *

><p>Sharon called Rusty to come out to have hot chocolate with her, he happily obliged. "You still seem, I don't know, thoughtful."<p>

"I've only gotten some of it done," she admitted quietly. "They're so alike, yet so different."

"You could bounce things off of me, you know," he offered.

"Thank you but you are my son and some things I don't _bounce_ _off_ my children."

"I'm not a kid, Sharon."

"No you are not, but you are _my_ _kid_, my little billy goat," she smiled. "Drink up. I'm thinking on hot chocolate, not wine, so I have a limited sugar boost to get through," she teased him.

"Wine would _not_ be good after hot chocolate," he laughingly agreed.

"That's disgusting, Rusty," she grimaced.

"Exactly," he made a face. "I'm going to my room. Promise me you will keep thinking or comparing, whatever you're doing, cuz it sounds just like comparing to me."

"I promise," she said as she winked at him.

* * *

><p>When she and Jack were dating, she knew it, she was very aware of it. Everything that dating involved, they did. People thought she and Andy were dating but she didn't realize it or that it appeared to be so until Rusty pointed it out to Nicole and her in the process. They were friends; they didn't do all the things that dating entailed. <em>Relationships, call them what you will, complicated best describes relationships<em>.

Because of the deal they made, Jack wasn't the provider and over the years Sharon became quite self-sufficient on her own. She was used to paying for everything; Jack loved it, Andy hated it. He liked to treat her to dinner, the movies and other events they attended. He liked to try to take care of her, knowing Jack didn't. Uncomfortable at first, she soon found she enjoyed that type of relationship with him. _Equality, fairness, balance, these were things she fought for women in the workplace; she didn't fight for them hard enough for herself in her marriage_.

Jack often made her feel at fault back then, until she no longer accepted it. Over the years, he tried to blame her for the state of their marriage, his relationship with their children and his on-again, off-again sobriety. Andy had explained to her that's what many addicts do until they've had time to see the truth and make amends. He understood why their respective marriages had ended and why their children had trust issues to a certain extent. He made it easier for her to comprehend. _Blame, easy to pass on, hard to accept as one's own, that is the heart of blame_.

She knew the differences in the way she felt when she was with them. With Jack, she was cautious, on guard, oftentimes defensive of herself and her children. With Andy, she was cautious because that came naturally at this point not because he brought it out of her. She was happy, she laughed, and she enjoyed closeness again. Though she should've been, she wasn't upset at the idea of dating Andy. She couldn't honestly say Jack was good to her or treated her well with no expectations. She could say that about Andy. _Growth, it takes some people a lifetime to experience growth_.

Jack was sober when he returned to LA. He had promised he'd stay that way. Again. How many times was it now? As he got his life back together here, she initially worried about him drinking. Once she filed for divorce, she firmly believed he'd gotten to the point where he could handle life without the assistance of alcohol. His behavior of late made her wonder but it wasn't her concern anymore. Not unless it affected her or her children negatively. Andy had 20 years of sobriety. When he said he hoped to remain sober forever, she believed him. He worked on it, took nothing for granted, always considered himself an alcoholic. He told her that was how he had to do it but that it was different for everyone. She wondered if she'd have to give up wine if they became a real couple. She'd feel guilty kissing him while tasting of alcohol. Jack made her need a glass of wine; Andy made her want coffee, tea or even a cranberry and soda. _Options, how we handle life always comes down to options_.

Two men started out on different paths in life. At some point, their path became one only to separate again as life took them in different directions. She saw one man, Jack, as her past and the other, Andy, as her present with potential for the future. Sharon thought of her own path, how she shared it sporadically with both men only to have found solid footing consistently the last year or so with one. By comparison, Andy won hands down, she knew without a doubt. If comparison was all it took, she'd have realized their feelings for each other sooner. Jack had done more than left her over the years; he had made her too comfortable being alone. Andy was changing that. She could get used to that too but then being alone again would be even harder. _Fear, of the known or unknown, people can be paralyzed by fear_.

Her thinking done, she was content with her decision: Jack was in her past with the exception of being her children's father. Andy was in her present and things were going well. She'd let their relationship as it was continue and if it became something more, she'd embrace it because she cared about him as more than a friend and believed he felt the same way. Leaving it open left her the option of Andy not only being in her present but also her future. She'd prefer Jack not be in it but she wholeheartedly hoped that Andy was.

* * *

><p>Rusty came back out as she was just moving the pillow back in place. "Are we ordering dinner?" he hid his smirk, "Or is Flynn coming over with it?"<p>

Sighing, "We are ordering dinner."

"Okay, how about burgers?"

"How about salad?" she countered, chuckling at his grunt. "Then how about we compromise?"

"Chinese food is a great compromise."

"Yes, it is," she agreed, rising to grab the menu.

Following her out to the kitchen, he asked, "How'd your comparison thinking go?"

"Very well, thank you. I'm very clear _for_ _now_."

"Good, cuz Flynn's a good guy, nothing like Jack from what I hear."

"Oh, what have you heard?"

"Um, nothing specific," he hesitated at the slight lie, "just that Jack hasn't really changed and Andy totally did."

"You've been going down memory lane with Lt Provenza again."

"Yeah, he's got a great memory for an old guy and a lot of his stories are funny."

"I'll be they are." Picking up her phone, "Are you getting your usual?"

"Of course, I am, and so are you so no eye rolling over there, Sharon."

Laughing she began scrolling through her contacts, stopping briefly as she saw Andy's name.

* * *

><p>After placing the order, she was still thinking of Andy so she text him. <em>You are a good man, Charlie Brown and a very good and dear friend<em>.

His response was instant. _Talking to Rusty again?_

_Yes, in between thinking_.

_Oh, no, not again! _She could practically see the smile on his face as she read.

_What do you two have against me thinking? In fact, all of my children and you are in agreement_.

_I'm not sure about the kids, but I never win when you spend too much time dissecting me in that head of yours_.

_You did this time_. She wasn't sure whether she should be that honest yet but she also wanted him to know she wasn't just ignoring any feelings while maintaining their friendship as it was.

_Tease! You aren't gonna tell me, are you?_ He really hoped she would and soon because he wanted everything out in the open and he really wanted to know if they had a future beyond friendship.

_I'm sorry, Andy, I'm not really ready just yet_. She felt a pang of guilt thinking maybe she should've just left well enough alone. She didn't want to get hurt but she didn't want to him either.

_No problem. Take your time, Sharon_. _I'll be here_. If nothing else, he decided, he'd always be there for her as her friend; as her lover would be ideal but if that was too much for her to handle, he'd take what she gave him.

_Thank you, delivery is here_. Dinner was a good, legitimate reason for not getting further into this discussion right then, no less via text, she reassured herself.

_Enjoy!_

_We will. Andy, I will always be here for you too._ She knew this to be the truth, she would be; she just had yet to decide in what capacity.

_I hope so._ He hit send despite the uncertainty and immediately felt the pang of guilt as he thought of her reaction. He wasn't trying to push her, he was just left in limbo, a state of confusion, when it came to 'what' they were and he really wanted to know.

_I promise_. If nothing else, of that she could be sure.

_Me too_. He smiled sadly, partly for them, where they were now, and partly because of what Jack must've put her through to make her so uneasy about a possible new relationship with him. She was scared; he would wait.

[The End]


End file.
